


Blow Off Some Esteem

by AllTheF33ls, miraculous_oceanseyes



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Crack Fic, F/M, Fite me Senpai it is a crack fic, LadyNoir - Freeform, ML, Marichat, Miraculous Ladybug - Freeform, Mutual Pining, ahaha what even is writing, all it took was Mari finally giving in to Chat's puns, fluff?, ladrien, mainly Adrinette though, maybe mentions of DjWifi?, mostly canon compliant, what did we commit ourselves to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8471917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheF33ls/pseuds/AllTheF33ls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraculous_oceanseyes/pseuds/miraculous_oceanseyes
Summary: A short reveal fic where Chat actually tells a good pun, and sleep-deprived Mari accidentally repeats it.    AKA an AU where Chat's puns are great and the oblivious children aren't so dense.





	1. Puns and Pauses in Sleep Schedules

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joint fic between @AllTheF33ls and myself, @miraculous_oceanseyes. 
> 
> If you want to check out my Tumblr and or get uptated on our fics, the username is: miraculous-oceanseyes
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Everything comes in threes.

Jokes are funnier in threes.

Marinette’s stitches are always triple-stitched.

And apparently, the universe works in threes, too.

  
It all started with that _damn_ billboard.

  
“...My lady?” Chat asked.

  
“Huh?!” Ladybug jumped out of her daze and faced her partner. The slight smirk on Chat Noir’s face grew.

  
_Uh-oh._

  
“Were you just _pawsibly_ fawning over the billboard of Adrien Agreste?” he asked, his voice teasing.

  
_Shit, she’d been caught._

  
It was just another patrol night, and since everything had gone smoothly they decided to rest on the roof of a nearby building.  
  
One that was of course facing a billboard with none other than Marinette’s impending doom.

  
Ladybug used denial.

  
“Pff-what?! No! I-I was j-just looking at the… clothing! It's beautifully done, isn't it? The colors are paired perfectly, and that _fabric_! It looks as though it was woven by the _gods_.”

  
It's super effective?

  
For a split second, Chat Noir looked almost disappointed that she hadn’t been staring at Adrien.

  
_~~Which she wasnt.~~ _

  
He quickly wiped the look from his face and replaced it with his signature smirk.

  
“You must think really highly of Gabriel.”

  
“I absolutely _adore_  his latest line.” After a little over a year of becoming their alter-egos, they had become quite close and learned a lot about each other. While they never gave specific details that could give away who they were, Ladybug saw no point in lying to her partner about her idol.

  
“Jeez, sounds like you need to _blow off some esteem_.”

  
Ladybug looked at Chat for a long minute.

  
She then donned a “ _You did not just say that_ ” facial expression.

  
Chat returned it with a “ _Oh, but I did_ ” grin.

  
To his surprise, his lady burst out snickering.

  
“I…,” more snickering. “Cannot… _believe_ you! _Mon dieu_ , that was awful!”

  
“Don't you mean _pawful_?”

  
_“No!”_

  
After joking about for an extra hour, the two teens decided to depart and head home. Dragging her feet as she shuffled around her room, Marinette dropped the transformation.

  
With an incoherent mutter of “pfft...blow... off...esteem”, Marinette fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

  
She didn’t open her eyes until her third alarm was blaring at her, and Tikki was flying frantically above her head -- squeaking at her that she was late. Rubbing her eyes, the bluenette sat up -- taking a moment to let everything sink in. Then, once the realization that Marinette was indeed late for the 4th day in a row set in, she tumbled out of bed and rushed through her morning routine before finally dashing out the door.

  
After she arrived at school 45 minutes late, Mari earned a sigh from Madame Bustier, who by now had just given up trying with the repeat offender. Mari ~~collapsed~~ slid into the seat next to her fiery best friend, placed her head in her elbows, and closed her eyes -- desperately wishing for the clutches of sleep to drag her under again.

  
_She was having a great dream about Adrien, too._

  
Speaking of the blonde ~~angel of heavenliness~~ boy, he sat in a similar state of drowsiness in front of Mari. She concluded that if she couldn’t _sleep_ and dream of Adrien, then daydreaming would have to suffice.

  
Unfortunately, within 5 seconds of her revelation, Marinette was forced to listen to another of Alya’s rants about Ladybug.

  
“ _Girl_ , did you _see_ the last akuma? Ladybug. Was. Awesome.” Marinette sighed heavily.

  
"Yes, I did,” she deadpanned. “We’ve already discussed this. Yesterday. And you _always_ think Ladybug is awesome.”

  
“I know! But this time she _fucking. Kicked. Ass._ "

  
“Alya! Language!” Madame Bustier scolded. The fire in Alya immediately went out.

  
“Sorry!” She then corrected quietly. “She _totally_. Kicked. Ass.”

  
And the fire was back.

  
“Alya, we’ve already discussed thissss, and I’m tiiiired,” Marinette whined through lidded eyes.

  
“Too bad. It’s not _my_ fault you stay up late, probably dreaming about Ad-”

  
Mari clapped her hands over Alya’s mouth, screeching, “Okay! Okay! I’m awake! Please, do continue...Ladybug...awesome...” She prompted. Luckily Alya took the bait.

  
“Right, right! The akuma was being a bit more of a-,” Alya looked up to check if Ms. Bustier was listening. “ _Dick_ than usual, and Ladybug put him in his place!”

  
“Oh my god, did you see her kick? Like _damn_ , Bugab-Ladybug!” Adrien turned around, suddenly passionate about the conversation the girls were having behind him.

_  
Oh no, not you too Adrien._

  
Marinette face palmed.

_  
Wait, was he just about to say Bug--_

  
“I _KNOW_ right?! Like that combo was some shit straight out of Mortal Kombat!” Mari snorted at her best friend’s remark.

_  
You think it only looked good? It felt fucking great, like I was part of the game._

  
“She really is magnificent, or should I say: _Miraculous_.” Alya groaned, and Mari was too tired to deal with puns from yet another blonde with green eyes.

  
“Jeez, you guys really need to blow off some esteem,” she managed to say in her still tired daze.

  
The blonde and brunette paused to stare at her.

  
Alya burst out laughing.

  
“Ahahahaha, Mari that was great! I thought you didn’t like puns, though?” the blogger accused.

  
Adrien continued to stare.

  
“I might have soft spot for them…” Marinette trailed off.

  
The rest of the girls’ conversation fell on deaf ears.

  
**_What_** _did_ _Marinette_ _just_ _say?_

_  
“Blow off some esteem”_

_  
I said that to Ladybug last night._

_  
Maybe we have the same sense of humor and thought processes for puns._

  
Adrien felt his heart leap at that thought for a reason unknown to him.

_  
Or maybe-_

  
He cut that thought off before it could even finish forming. He had promised his lady he would respect her identity, and besides-

  
There was _no_ _way_ he was _that_ oblivious that Ladybug could be the sweet girl that sat behind him everyday.

  
...Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Adrien. There is a way.


	2. Science Jokes, Selected Partners, and Sneaking Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Us before writing fanfiction: _“What?! Only updating every two weeks?! Man, this author is lAzY.”_
> 
> Us after starting to write and post fanfiction: _**“hOW DO YOU UPDATE EVERY MONTH, YOU MAGICAL CREATURE??”**_
> 
> WE ARE SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE...the sheer amount of memes and text messages we've sent each other to try and motivate ourselves to writing a second chapter is immeasurable. We're sorry, guys.
> 
> -AllTheF33ls & miraculous_oceanseyes

The rest of the class seemed to go by without a hitch.

 

And by without a hitch, I mean Adrien didn’t turn around in his seat and blurt out the question of Marinette being Ladybug.  ~~ No matter how much he wanted to.  ~~

Alya pestered and teased Marinette with puns for the rest of the time, writing them on small torn-off pieces of unsuspecting paper and sliding them over to her. 

 

_ You better not tell friction jokes, ‘cuz I won’t let ‘em slide. _

 

_ Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too. _

 

_ Chemical jokes are boron… _

_ However, physics jokes have potential. _

 

“Alya, we’re not even  _ in _ Physics class right now!” Marinette whisper-yelled.

 

However, it was still loud enough to catch the attention of Mme. Bustier, who promptly sent the girl a dirty look. Marinette shrunk into her seat. 

 

Another piece of paper slid over to Marinette’s side of the table.

 

_ Physics puns are no joke. _

_ It’s a relatively dark matter. _

 

_ “Alya!” _

 

_ “Mlle. Dupain-Cheng!  _ If you have another outburst like that, I’m afraid I’ll have to send you to the principal’s office! Do you understand?”

 

“Yes, Mme. Bustier,” the girl replied shyly. Chloe adorned a smug, shit-eating grin.

 

“Thank you. Now, I would like to announce the partners for our next project. It will be due this Friday, so I suggest you get to work right away.”

 

“Alright, Chloe, you’ll be with Sabrina-”

 

Everyone in the room visibly  _ cringed _ .

 

“Max, you’ll be with Kim. Juleka with Rose. Mylene with Nathaniel. Alix with Ivan. Alya with Nino-”

 

The DJ turned around to bump fists with the blogger.

 

Marinette’s heart stopped beating.

 

_ Wait. _

 

_ That means- _

 

“And Marinette will be with Adrien, any questions?”

 

Nope.

 

_ Nope. _

 

How was she supposed to get anything done while in the presence of a  _ literal  _ **_angel_ ** .

 

She’d get more done working with Chat Noir,  _ with _ all of his stupid  amazing puns and poorly timed humor.

 

“Girl? You okay?” Alya worried over her friend that had suddenly become a statue.

 

_ No, I’m not okay. I’mgoingtobeworkingwithAdrien.... _ **_howamIsupposedtobeokay??_ **

 

~~**_marinette.exe has stopped working_ ** ~~

 

“Girl, talk to me -- anything. Give me a sign that you’re not deceased. Please, you’re scaring me.” Alya prompted, waving a hand in front of her best friend’s freckled face. 

 

_ My heart has officially stopped. This is the end. Not an akuma, not Hawkmoth himself, but a school project would be the end of the miraculous tale of Ladybug. May she be remembered.  _

 

“Hey, Alya, is Marinette okay?” wondered the blonde heaven-descent himself.

 

_ Oh, hey, his voice works as a defibrillator. Is there anything he isn’t good at? _

 

“I don’t kno-”

 

“I’m fine!” she blurted, cutting Alya off. 

 

“Just phased out there for a second, haha! I’m fine.”

 

Her face sported a dumb, love-struck smile.

 

“O..kay, well when and where do you want to work on the project?”

 

_ Oh, great. I was too busy freaking out and nearly dying that I missed what this project was even about. _

 

“Ahehehe, um, fine is today -- I mean today is fine!  _ That is, if it’s okay with you of course! Because my schedule isn’t nearly as important as yours, so whatever time works for you works for me-” _ Marinette began to ramble, so Alya gave her a  _ gentle _ kick under their shared desk.

 

The bluenette shot the redhead a glare. Alya only smiled innocently in return.

 

Adrien only looked more confused, eyebrows knitting together as he tried to piece together what was wrong with the stuttering mess in front of him. 

 

_ Why is it so hard for her to talk to me as Adrien? She had so much fire in her when she was with Chat. Does she really not like me that much? _

 

“Great! Yeah, today after school is fine.”

 

“Grood! I mean good -- great!” Marinette wanted to crawl into a hole and  _ d i e. _

 

“Can we work on it at your house?”

 

“Of course!” she exclaimed a little too loudly.

 

_ You’re always welcome at my house. _

 

“Great, I’ll meet you after school then.” And with that, he turned back around.

 

Marinette slumped into her chair, exhausted from trying to keep up only a 5 minute interaction with him.

 

“Alya.”

 

“Yes, dear?”

 

“I’m so screwed.”

 

“I know, dear.”

 

The bluenette groaned, dumping her head into her awaiting arms. 

 

***

 

The school day continued as it normally would.

 

Well, without an akuma at least.

 

Adrien couldn’t get Marinette’s use of the same pun out of his head.

 

_ It should just be a coincidence _ .

 

_ It should. _

 

_ But was it? _

 

He toyed with his suspicions over and over, and before he knew it, the day was over and it was time to go. Waiting by the door of the classroom, Adrien dodged Chloe’s parting kiss, and watched Marinette gather her things. The way she buzzed around, picking up and placing all of her belongings into her bag was almost like that of a bug.

 

_ Huh. _

 

_ Almost as if she were La- _

 

Adrien shook his head.

 

_ A coincidence _ .

 

_ That’s all that it was.  _

 

Pushing the thought aside, Adrien decided that it would be no use to either of them if he kept zoning out while they were working on the project. Besides, Marinette was finally finished packing up. She walked over to join him where he was, backpack slung over her shoulder--a notebook in hand. 

 

She appeared to be at least somewhat calmed down now.

 

“Shall we go?” she asked him, internally berating herself for saying “shall”.

 

He smiled. She had asked him a question  _ without _ stuttering or jumbling words.

 

Granted it was only three words, and not even a complete clause, but whatever.

 

Adrien gestured to the door.

 

“After you,  _ m’lady _ .” sending the blushing bluenette his usual Chat Noir smirk-and-wink combo™.

 

Marinette’s eyes grew wide, she froze. 

 

Adrien had to hold back a suck of his teeth as he mentally scolded himself. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

_ All of Mari’s fluttering about got me thinking about Ladybug. Chat comes out when I'm on autopilot. _

 

Marinette took a second to process the situation. 

 

_ Adrien just called me M’lady. Something only Chat would do. _

 

_ Earlier today I said a pun that Chat told me last night, and he had the strangest reaction. Like he saw a ghost or something. _

 

Mari smiled, and walked through the door that the boy in question held open for her. They proceeded to walk back to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery, her thoughts racing. 

 

_ Adrien did the wink.  _

 

_ The wink.  _

 

_ The M’lady.  _

 

_ That blonde hair, green eyes- _

 

“We’re here.” Adrien interrupted her thoughts as he looked at Mari’s bakery. Sending a smile in her direction, as if letting her know he was about to make a joke, he looked at her. 

 

“Shall we?” 

 

_ You know, M’lady is a common, formal thing to say. Adrien was raised with the etiquette of a model. He can’t be- _

 

Mari smiled. 

  
“We shall.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, they are more oblivious than we ever thought. Sorry the style of this chapter was so spaced out--this is just an apology, it's too late to come up with any sort of excuse. 
> 
> If any of you still care, the next chapter will come out MUCH sooner than it took for us to update this chapter. (sorry again). Also, feel free to leave comments or kudos! Seriously, the comments you guys left on chapter one were the only thing keeping us going. Feel free to leave more! 
> 
> We love you all! Thank you for still caring about this crack fic. 
> 
> Check (one of us) out on Tumblr: miraculous-oceanseyes


	3. Reveals and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S H O O K E T H

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miraculous_oceaneyes: ***adds “crack fic” to the tags for Chapter 2* **  
> ****  
>   
> AllTheF33ls: This isn't a crack fic  
>  miraculous_oceaneyes: yes it is  
> AllTheF33ls: It’s not a crack fic, this is perfectly norma-  
> miraculous_oceaneyes: **boi, it’s a crack fic **  
> ****  
>   
> AllTheF33ls: No, it’s not-  
>  *Writes Chapter 3*  
> AllTheF33ls: Yeah, okay, this is pretty crack fic-y  
> miraculous_oceaneyes: ***INHALES* **  
> ****  
> *proceeds to add ‘fite me senpai’ to the tags*

Marinette should’ve known that things would not go smoothly.

 

Well, she did know. She didn’t expect to get any sentences out in a single try and was surprised that she managed to say “we shall” without combusting into a million tiny ladybugs.

 

She should’ve known, however, that the troubles wouldn’t come as soon as she tried to speak

 

But instead as soon as they walked in the front door.

 

 **_“Adrien, my boy!”_ ** came a booming voice from behind the counter.

 

_Shit. My parents._

 

Yes, Marinette should’ve remembered her noisy -- yet totally lovable -- parents fawning over the blond Adonis the moment they laid eyes on him.

 

“H-hi, Mons. and Mme. Dupain-Cheng,” he replied shyly. Adrien still wasn’t used to getting affection or attention that wasn’t “smile a little wider for me” or “turn your head this way”.

 

_Wow, that sounds a lot more depressing now that I think about it._

 

Clearing his thoughts he watched the warm scene unfold in front of him, the shorter Dupain-Cheng woman giving her daughter a tight embrace, and the latter jumping onto her tippy-toes to kiss her father’s cheek. Adrien can’t help thinking with a silent plea:

 

_So this is what a family looks like._

 

“Adrien and I have a group project to work on-” Marinette explains to her parents as they nod along. But Adrien tunes out the rest of what she’s saying, focusing solely on the looks each member of the trio gives each other. Along with the casual touches and brushes of shoulders.

 

_Everything is so soft and warm._

 

He loves watching such interactions. Pretending that _maybe_ it’s something he too could have someday. A loving household that he can come home to. With people waiting to greet him and missing him as the day progressed. Not having to worry about photoshoots or paparazzi. Just a calm and domesticated life. With someone by his side, to support him and for him to support. Someone to hold when the nights get cold.

 

_Someone with navy hair and bluebell eyes and a wit unlike any other. A natural born leader who lets her guard down the slightest bit around a silly cat with sillier puns._

 

The thought brings a slight heat to his face and before he could send it away, Marinette’s mother catches his eye. With a raised eyebrow and the corners of her mouth pulling down, she made her way over to Adrien. A small, but soft hand gets placed on his forehead.

 

“Are you feeling alright, dear?” She asked, concern laced in her tone and written on her face.

 

“O-oh. Yes. I’m fine,” he chokesd out at the sheer tenderness of her face.

 

“Maman, don’t scare Adrien like that!” Marinette scolds.

 

“Are you sure? Would you like me to bring you up some tea? Snacks?” Her mother completely ignores Marinette’s request.

 

_Oh man, she’s gonna scare him, think that I’m weird because my parents feed everyone. His father is going to find out that we broke his strict diet regime and we will get our bakery shut down and I’m going to have to live on the street, begging for money. And Adrien will never love a hobo. Or worse, we’ll get too distracted to work, and we’ll fail and Adrien’s never going to want to work with me ever again because I ruined his perfect grades with a failure. Or-_

 

“If it’s not too much trouble. That would be _really_ nice. _Thank you_.” Adrien’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. Before suddenly realizing, “J-just make sure to get enough for Marinette, too. I would feel bad if I was the only one eating.” With that, he chuckles lightly.

 

_I think I’ve died and gone to heaven._

 

Marinette gapes, jaw parted slightly at the sight of a laughing Adrien.

 

_I wish I could make him laugh like that._

 

Sabine takes his hands into hers and smiles warmly.

 

“With pleasure. Now move along, get going! Shoo! Don’t just waste your time with us.” She gestures to the doorway from the bakery to the stairs, making a _shooing_ gesture as she joins her husband’s side. Turning around to wave, the two teenagers make disappear, as the slight sound of their footsteps on the carpeted stairs echo.

 

“That poor boy.” Tom Dupain-Cheng whispers, putting his arm around his wife’s shoulder. She nods in agreement.

 

“Marinette should treasure him. Give him the love he deserves.”

 

The two parents are in a silent agreement: ~~They ship it. They ship it hard.~~

 

***

 

Things went by smoother than Marinette thought. She only managed to stutter occasionally and only when Adrien put all of his forest-green focus on her.

 

_The military should really consider making that a weapon._

 

But regardless, four hours later they sat -- extremely proud of themselves -- with a finished poster staring back at them. Billions of markers littered the table in an array of colors, paper scraps hung off of the corner of Mari’s desk and somehow on her ceiling, and books were sprawled out on the floor -- some dog-eared and others with millions of little ladybug sticky notes poking out from between their pages.

 

(Ironically enough, said sticky notes were not Marinette’s but instead kept in a little pencil pouch in a relatively well-known Agreste model’s backpack.)

 

 _How funny, if only he knew._ Mari laughed to herself silently. The boy in question was sprawled out on the floor flipping through one of the open books. _Almost like a ca-_ Mari’s thoughts were suddenly was interrupted by Adrien as he cleared his throat to speak.

 

“So how do we want to work on the paper portion of the assignment?”

 

She tapped her chin, pulling out the rubric from her backpack, and the bluenette did a once over.

 

“So maybe if we split it here...and here…” she declared, circling certain parts in red and black pen -- divvying up the work evenly and with efficiency. Adrien was kind of amazed.

 

 _I’ve never even seen_ **_Natalie_ ** _get into such a leadership role like this so quickly._

 

“Sound good?” Marinette questioned, eyes snapping to his prone form. Adrien shook his head, breaking him out of his day? evening? dream to meet two bluebell orbs staring curiously at him.

 

 _Damn are they pretty._ He swallowed, trying his best to remain composed while an, albeit, scattered, internal turmoil raged from within.

 

 _The hell is wrong with me? It’s creepy to start thinking your_ **_classmate_ ** _is so pretty. Besides, I like Ladybug, I’d feel like I’m cheating...wait..._ **cheating?** _...we were never together in the first place. Ugh._ Adrien wanted to smack _himself_ upside the head for being so stupid. 

 

“Y-yeah sounds good.” Thankfully he didn’t need an excuse for his slight stutter since he had perfected the art of the Fake Cough™ -- in both his household and profession -- for many years. It was a refined and finely executed technique.

 

Without suspecting a thing, Marinette just spun around in her swivel chair and started typing away at her computer. He sighed, partially with relief...the other part he wasn’t quite as sure of. Marinette was always nice, but Adrien could help feeling drawn to her in the slightest of ways.

 

_A knight protecting his princess in pink, obviously. Nothing more, nothing less._

 

Though even _he_ couldn’t ignore the way his heart swelled at the thought of “ _his_ princess”.

 

“You okay?” Marinette worried. Her voice once again brought him out of his thoughts and back to her adorably pink room.

 

“Yeah,” Adrien breathed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

 _He could practically hear Plagg’s snickering in the back of his mind_.

 

“Good,” the bluenette’s small frown morphed into a warm smile. “Then get up, pretty boy, you’ve got work to do,” she teased, sending a wink his way as she threw the paper she divvied up to him. The paper floated down to hit him square in the chest, something that finally removed Adrien from his daze. Marinette giggled and returned to her computer.

 

_Oh, he was so definitely screwed._

 

***

 

Surprisingly, the research part of their assignment took less time than their poster. (Probably because Mme. Bustier basically created Team Perfectionist™). They were done in three hours this time, with the only casualties being their two rough drafts completely wrecked by red and neon green pens.

 

For once in Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life, she was done _early_.

 

And damn it felt _good._

 

She turned to her blonde partner with a large grin -- her stuttering long since forgotten once she got into her leadership mode -- only to find said partner staring at her the same way. His smile seemed so _genuine_ , making her realize how many times before she had seen his “model” smile instead.

 

She didn’t want to see his facade. She wanted to see the boy beneath all those layers. All those masks.

 

That’s the boy she fell in love with anyway.

 

Yep. She loved Adrien Agreste. Flaws and all.

 

Of course, there was no way she could ever in a million years tell him that.

 

Okay, maybe that was a _bit_ of an over-exaggeration, but she certainly couldn't tell him that right now. Someday, maybe.

 

But today all he needed was a friend.

 

She swallowed that realization and brightened her smile.

 

And offered him the best sign of adoration she knew how to do.

 

Marinette raised her fist to Adrien, though not in a threatening manner. His eyes widened in shock, and her smile became a little shy. Before she could retreat her hand and live the rest of her life in shame, however, the blonde raised his own.

 

Their smiles collectively widened as their fists bumped together in a familiar motion of completion and congratulations.

 

An almost _too_ familiar motion.

 

 _“Bien joué!”_ they bellowed in unison.

 

…

 

Oh.

 

Oh, no.

 

Oh, _shit._

 

The two teenagers looked down in horror at their touching fists, then back again at each other.

 

Adrien’s eyes flitted to Marinette’s earrings.

 

And Marinette’s to his ring.

 

Everything all at once fell into place. All too soon.

 

 _My pun._ Adrien’s eyes blew wide.

 

 _The_ **_nicknames_ **. Mari’s heart stopped

 

Only they knew about those two specific things. Something that was solely theirs. And to top it off, the finishing move that signaled the end of a job well-done.

 

 _The Bien Jouès_ ™ _._ The blue eyes met viridian ones for a split second, but it was enough for the damage to be done.

 

“ **_You_ ** _!_ ” they screamed at each other, retracting their hands as though burned.

 

_“Ladybug?”_

 

 _“Chat_ **_Noir_ ** _?”_

 

There was silence as they stood shell-shocked, both searching the other for any sign of their superhero counterpart. The air around the two was practically crackling with energy, one small move could end it all.

 

But suddenly, the blonde burst into a fit of laughter. The entire room lit up, the heavy mood from just a moment before was lifted, not a trace of it to be found.

 

“It was _you_! Of all people! The whole time!” He choked out between bouts of laughter and leaning down to grip his stomach as he chucked.

 

Marinette stood still, blinking. She wasn’t sure of a number of things.

 

_Should I sigh with relief? Laugh with him? What is he even laughing about-_

 

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed Adrien’s breathy confession.

 

“I was in love with you! The whole time and you sat right behind me!”  At this point, Marinette was thoroughly **_shook_ **. Opening her mouth to let out some form of speech, whether in French, English, or some combination of squeaks and squeals, became an impossible task. All she could focus on was how this beautiful boy in front of her was and that was Adrien.

 

 _AdrienisChatNoirAdrienisChatNoir. The very person I shot down all along because I was in love with Adrien instead. Oh god._ She felt an impending wave of doom.

 

 _One way or another we are going to have to talk about it._ She was almost convinced that she had never dreaded a conversation with Adrien in her whole life. However, in her inner turmoil, she failed to notice the pair of green eyes now watching her with concern.

 

“Mari,” Adrien said quietly, his voice going soft, her eyes snapped up. “What’s wrong? Am I not what you expected?” Her heart broke.

 

“N-N-No!” She managed to spit out, voice pitching an octave, she cringed.

 

“I-it’s just...I shot _you_ down so many t-times…n-not knowing i-t was… **_you._ ** ” Marinette felt bile rise in her throat.

 

 _Mon dieu, please don’t cry now. Please, please, please._ The floor creaked as she was approached by Adrien. Squeezing her eyes shut, she braced herself for the worst, but all she felt was her small frame being enveloped by a warmer, softer one. She buried her head in his chest. Lightly clutching Agreste’s shirt in the process.

 

“Regardless of the number of times you shot me down, I always loved you. And I always will.”

 

 _How cliche of him, such a Chat thing to say._ Marinette had to suppress an eye roll, until she realized another decision was upon her. _I have to tell him too._ Picking her head up from where it lie, she looked him in the face.

 

“Adrien,” She sucked in a breath when his full attention was, yet again, on her, “the reason why I kept blowing you off-”

 

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay….you had your reasons-” Mari’s heart physically _hurt_ in her chest watching him say that. She was helpless to the word rising through her throat,she needed to get just _one_ out to get him to stop rambling.

 

“No!” She cried, but it fell on deaf ears.

 

“You, even in civilian form, have always been amazing, and I guess I was blinded by Ladybug, but I guess I’ve always known how amazing you are-”

 

“Adrien-”

 

“Whoever you're with will be so happy-”

 

“Adrien!” Marinette shouted then sighed, glad that this time she was finally able to silence the rambling teen, so she could speak.

 

_Funny, because that’s usually me._

 

Choosing her words carefully, she proceeded, pausing every so often.

 

“Adrien…...T-th reason why…...I-I always turned Chat down was because,” She buried her head once more into his black and striped shirt, muffling her voice just slightly. “B-because I was in love with **_you._ ** ”

 

There was a pregnant pause between the two as her confession hung, open and vulnerable, in the air. Adrien was shocked into silence, mulling over his options and how to respond to, literally, the girl of his dreams in his arms. Marinette closed her eye; she was completely content with leaving everything after this moment unsaid. The two of them could stay frozen in time for all she cared. That was before their silence was broken by two kwamis zooming into the room. Neither fairies seemed to care about the emotional mood at the moment. Their only concern was the present situation.

 

“There is an akuma! It’s tearing up the streets!” Tikki’s high-pitched voice conveyed her urgency.

 

Plagg, adding on to her sentence croaked out, “You better hurry! It’s controlling the trees in the park! Everyone’s worried that they will launch an attack soon!” Marinette lifted her head, not to look at the two kwamis flying around the room, but, instead, Adrien who was looking down at her.

“I think I’m really, truly, in love with you, Princess,” bringing his thumb up to stroke her cheek, Marinette’s heart pounded so hard, she was worried everyone in the building would hear her. With a breathless whisper, Adrien inched his face closer, “Can I please kiss you M’Lady?” Their noses brushed against each other. But before he could get any farther, Marinette flashed a smirk, causing him to jump a bit, before, without breaking eye contact whispered,

 

“Tikki, transform me.” The ladybug kwami on standby was sucked into her earrings and Marinette’s form disappeared into a flash of pink. However, all the while, she held Adrien’s gaze: unwavering. Once transformed out of her regular clothes into her crimson and onyx spotted suit, she approached Adrien once more, who didn’t move from his spot.

 

With a quirked smile, and a gleam in her eye she stood on her tipy-toes and placed a soft, but chaste, kiss to his cheek. The sudden burst of red on his face and her own slight breathlessness was worth it, although, she slowly felt her confidence seeping out from her body. Glancing away, she muttered.

 

“W-Who said I wanted to k-kiss you in the first place?” She was sure her cheeks were as red as her mask. However, the now familiar sound of Adrien’s laughter could be heard from where he stood.

 

“Plagg, transform me.” Adrien, too, disappeared in a flash of black and green. In his place, stood Chat Noir.

 

“My lady, I think you need to blow off some of your **_own_ ** esteem.” He chucked, practically purring. “Because your actions certainly contradict your words.”

 

She turned to face him, and the two shared a smile. Then, facing the window, swinging her yoyo, Ladybug prepared to depart. But not before, looking once over her shoulder, calling out to him,

 

“Oh, _Minou,_ but it’s what you love about me.”

 

And with that she swung herself out the window in pursuit of the Akumatized villain. Now left alone in Marinette’s room, Chat watched her fleeting form before saying to none other than himself ~~with a lovestruck smile.~~

 

“I certainly do, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, M’Lady.”

 

And with that, he took out his staff and followed in pursuit of his partner.

 

Everything happens in threes.

 

Jokes are funnier in threes.

Marinette’s stitches are always triple-stitched.

  
And apparently, the universe works in threes, too, just as two superheroes came to find out: one pun, one misplaced nickname, and one familiar gesture later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THIS WAS THE WILDEST DAMN RIDE WE'VE EVER BEEN ON. Thank you all SO SO SO SO SO much for staying and supporting our fic, regardless of how crack-y it got. (and yes. this is DEFINITELY a crackfic. *pointed look at AllTheF33ls*) We love you all so much, and thank you for taking the time to read this silly thing we came up with a little while ago. Seeing every single comment you all left us really helped to motivate us, and we would both freak out over what to respond with lmao. We both hope that you will continue to support our accounts and our future works and collaborations. (There will be several others. We promise...VLD Fandom we're coming for you next!!!) <3 <3 
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to check out one of our Tumblers: miraculous-oceanseyes, and feel free to chat. 
> 
> Kudos and especially comments are really appreciated!  
> Sincerely,  
> miraculous_oceanseyes and AllTheF33ls


	4. The Real Crack™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when the two of us try to write at 2 AM.   
> Also, what started it all was that SOMEONE *pointed look at AllTheF33ls* told another someone to write their part because they were too tired to figure out what plot was.  
> Basically, this is what happened while we tried to write Chapter 3 in the wee hours of the morning.  
> Please enjoy our suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******WARNING: LOTS OF POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE CONTENT. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...******

The two of them whip out their tumblr Adrienette fan blogs. Tom gets to work on the fanart and Sabine writes the Fanfiction -- coffee shop AU because why not? -- then sending it to her beta reader Alya to proof. Once finished, Sabine and tom both post them, dabbing in the process. Immediately it gets kudos and reblogs from @askmyassistantNathalie and @fuckyougabrielihaveenoughstress

The two parents are in a silent agreement: They ship it. They ship it hard.

 

AND THEN ADRIEN AND MARI FINISHED THEIR FUCKING PROJECT THAT CAROL DIDN’T SPECIFY WHAT IT WAS.

 

“BIEN JOUES.” THEY SCREAMED IN BAD FRENCH.

 

“O SHIT U LB” ADRIEN CRIED.

 

“FUCK OFF CHAT IVE KNOWN IT’S U WEARING AN ADRIEN COSTUME.”

 

“LE GASP” ADRIEN CHAT NOIR CRIED RIPPIING OFF HIS MASK TO REVEAL HAWKMOTH.

 

THEN NATALIE CRASHED HROUGH A WINDOW.

 

“FUCK YOU GABRIEL. I KNOW YOU’RE HER FATHER.”

 

SABINE SCREAMS. TOM DABS. ADRIEN EATS A DOUGHNUT WHILE PLAGG IS ACTUALLY THE ONE DOING THE ENTIRE PROJECT.

 

HAWKY IN AN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE, TRIES TO AKUMATIZE A BUTTERFLY, BUT ISTEAD, ADRIEN EATS IT INSTEAD.

 

PLZ BE SURE TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE QUALITY FUCKING CONTENT. DANKE

CUZ HE WAS SO FUCKING HUNGRY

 

#LET THE BOI EAK 2K17

YES LET HIM EAKINS

 

CONTACT [ WWW.WOUNDEDWARRIORS ](http://WWW.WOUNDEDWARRIORS).COM FOR MORE FUCKING INFO.

TIKKI IS CRYING. TRIXX APPEARS AND IS IN _SALTING_ EVERYONE: “YOUR MEME’S ARN’T AS DANK AS MINE.”

 

“SHIT” HAWKDADDY SCREECHES AS HE REALIZES THAT HIS MEMES AREN’T, INDEED, AS DANK AS TRIXX’S.

 

NATALIE DECLARES THAT HAWKDADDY IS KINKY.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF Y'ALL ARE AND AMERICA AND KNOW THE SHIT THAT'S GOING ON AND DON'T MIND THE OFFENSIVE SHIT. (The both of us live in the U.S. I was going to write this in the actual thing but AllTheF33ls made me take it out...so I'm putting it here.):
> 
> JOE BIDEN SHOWS UP TOO, “I HAVE TO COME CLEAN. OBAMA AND I WERE THE ORIGINAL MIRACULOUS HOLDERS. TRUMP HAS TAKEN THE MOTH MIRACULOUS AND IS AKUMATIZING FEMANISTS AND PUTIN. WE NEED UR HELP VERY MUCH.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> -AllTheF33ls and miraculous_oceanseyes


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